Podcast: Actor Profiles

Dave and Steve style guide their way through the career of a single actor.

Ep. 63: Wesley Snipes is No Al Pacino

Ep. 63: Wesley Snipes is No Al Pacino

Episode 63, ‘Wesley Snipes is no Al Pacino’, on Wesley Snipes

You’re telling me that this week Dave and Steve did an actor profile on Wesley Snipes? Like, the dude from the Blade movies, Demolition Man, and a bunch of direct-to-DVD flops who has recently spent three years in prison for income tax fraud? Is there any rhyme or reason to who The Style Guide will profile or have you just thrown every actor’s name into a random number generator? I don’t even know who you guys are anymore.

  • Intro Clip: Demolition Man.
  • The lie that emerged at the end of episode 61 continues.
  • Okay, so I can believe Blade is a Marvel superhero, but how did he get his motorcycle here?
  • “Super eclectic”? Looks like someone’s been hitting the thesaurus pretty hard.
  • Now that Dave and Steve mention it, the sheer number of vampires in the Blade universe does seem improbably high. Thanks a lot for ruining those films for the audience, guys. Now nobody will be able to take them seriously anymore.
  • The tone of this episode consistently lapses into that of two outcasts sitting on the edge of the playground talking about how cool the cool kids are.
  • As usual, Steve comes across as Steve Buscemi’s character from 30 Rock.
  • The definition for biannually isn’t very helpful…
  • Is White Men Can’t Jump a modern day Vaudeville show that is grounded by a common theme of toxic masculinity rather than the plot of a more traditional 90s-era basketball film? The answer might surprise you. (No, no it is not.)
  • Dave talks about his manly urges.
  • Does Steve make a very (very) subtle dig at the inadequacy of Snapple as a thirst quenching beverage?
  • Dave is terrified by nudity whereas Steve just blocks it out.
  • Steve worries that Dave is going to make fun of him.
  • Boyz N the Hood and New Jack City: sibling projects or kissing cousins?
  • Steve sure sounds like he’s overcompensating for something with how much he loves Blade and Blade.
  • Blade receives a 6/10 for profanity use according to the IMDb parental guide. Six out of ten. Six. Out. Of. Ten.
  • Dave hates the future.
  • Summer Glau > Wesley Snipes > Scarlett Johansson > Matt Damon.
Actor Profiles
Actor Profiles
Ep. 63: Wesley Snipes is No Al Pacino
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Ep. 54: Point Break Time

Ep. 54: Point Break Time

Episode 54, ‘Point Break Time’, on Keanu Reeves

This week, Dave and Steve take the time to celebrate the genius of Canadian superstar Keanu Reeves. That’s right, the actor that has been requested (by Steve) more times than any other is finally getting The Style Guide Treatment. See what our dynamic duo has to say about obscure films like The Matrix or John Wick and place your bets as to how long into the episode we get before they mention Jodie Foster or Anne Hathaway. Keep your hands and legs inside the phone booth at all times, folks, because strange things are afoot at the Circle-K.

  • Intro Clip: The Replacements.
  • The editor is of the opinion that Steve wanted to bring up this episode of Movies with Mikey, but couldn’t find a way to smoothly jam it in.
  • Right off the top it feels like Dave isn’t going to take Keanu seriously and Steve is going to take him far too seriously. This, faithful listeners, is what we call foreshadowing. It’s goin’ down for real.
  • Dave and Steve appear to have a bias towards actors born in North America.
  • Is it accurate to refer to Ted “Theodore” Logan as “surfer dude”?
  • Steve calls himself an idiot. This, faithful listeners, is what we call the opposite of foreshadowing.
  • Steve seems to have a lot of unresolved anger towards great MTV VJ Pauly Shore despite the fact that Bio-Dome might be the single greatest movie of the 1990s.
  • Regarding John Leguizamo.
  • Much like The Pixar Theory, Dave has The Reeves Conjecture.
  • Steve offers up the best impression that he has in his repetoire: Liam Neeson.
  • Steve has a prejudice against nontraditional football quarterbackers.
  • Steve swears.
  • Steve has clearly forgotten Bram Stoker’s Dracula.
  • Dave believes Steve’s Hollywood dreams are without merit.
  • Dave sometimes confuses Steve for Keanu.
  • Dave is racist against surfers.
  • Dave says, “Um” for a full three seconds.
  • Steve’s trying to have a serious conversation about Keanu Reeves. Dave doesn’t take him seriously.
  • Steve doesn’t stick to his guns for no better reason than the simple fact that Dave has a better argument than him.
  • Steve says something that is going to get him in trouble later on down the line, but he doesn’t sound like he regrets it.
Actor Profiles
Actor Profiles
Ep. 54: Point Break Time
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Ep. 45: There’s No Iron Man For Jodie Foster

Ep. 45: There’s No Iron Man For Jodie Foster

Episode 45, ‘There’s no Iron Man for Jodie Foster’, on Jodie Foster

This week, follow along with the hard to identify noises of construction happening as if it were just down the street from you. Wonder if you’re going crazy or if there is a rhythmic metal thumping (?) of some sort that is almost impossible to pinpoint, but is definitely in the background of Steve’s audio. Also: Dave and Steve talk about Jodie Foster.

  • Intro Clip: Elysium.
  • Steven talks about his struggles as a child actor.
  • Anna and the King of Siam > The King and I > Anna and the King
  • Dave fantasizes about being Jodie Foster, presumably in some sort of Being John Malkovich way.
  • Dave suggests they avoid talking about Elysium, because it’s a rabbit hole nobody wants to go down.
  • Dave talks about Elysium.
  • Is Steve ever going to stop complaining about child actors and the Oscars?
  • Dave’s tendency towards hyperbole puts the episode on a strange path.
  • Dave and Steve don’t talk about The Accused — which is odd, because Foster won an Academy Award for it.
  • Not once do Dave or Steve address Sir Anthony Hopkins by his title.
  • Jodie Foster isn’t Julia Roberts.
  • Steven would not be able to identify Jodie Foster solely based on smell.
  • Sorry Bruce Willis.
  • Hey Steven, go listen to the pronunciation of “ogle” and then come back to the podcast without that high horse of yours.
  • Dave suggests that “unquestionably the greatest actor of his generation” could be easily replaced.
  • Interstellar is the pinnacle of cinema. It’s all downhill from there, folks.
  • Dave claims that something will be in the shownotes. It is not.
  • Steve tries to make a Beastie Boys reference. It goes nowhere.
  • Dave does an impression of a Jodie Foster zealot.
  • Jodie Foster is the shining star that rises all boats.
  • Something Anthony Hopkins and Anne Hathaway have in common: they both have received Oscars for only 15 minutes of screentime.
  • Does anyone remember the role Foster played in District 9?
Actor Profiles
Actor Profiles
Ep. 45: There's No Iron Man For Jodie Foster
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Ep. 36: The Billy Crystal of Acting

Ep. 36: The Billy Crystal of Acting

Episode 36, ‘The Billy Crystal of Acting’, on Whoopi Goldberg

This week Dave and Steve continue their wildly successful series of actor profiles, this time with the legendary Whoopi Goldberg. What began as an opportunity to make fun of Nicolas Cage and his weird career has evolved into a more thoughtful look at what makes particular actors work so well — and, with Whoopi, Dave and Steve take to the challenge with aplomb.

  • Intro Clip: Theodore Rex – Trailer
  • Like Lauryn Hill, Steven will now go by “Stevyn”.
  • Whoopi Goldberg is not Shakespeare.
  • Dave sounds a lot like Abed.
  • Intros to comedy specials have always been terrible.
  • Stevyn, like everyone else, forgets both the actors and characters in Eddie.
  • Akira Kurosawa’s Seven Whoopi.
  • Dave misremembers the sexy pottery scene from Ghost. Dramatically.
  • Is anyone surprised that Dave and Stevy don’t like The View?
  • Hattie McDaniel won an Oscar for Gone with the Wind in 1939.
  • An EGOT is a thing, Dave — and Whoopi was the first African American to achieve it.
  • Stevyn needs to talk about The Colo(u)r Purple.
  • Dave explains why Sister Act is a perfect film. Stevyn doesn’t quite agree.
  • Dave gets quite upset when Stevyn confuses hit 90’s icon Alanis Morissette for one-hit wonder Meredith Brooks.
  • Deanna Troi is clearly inferior to Guinan.
  • Stevyn says “the Troi family” in an obvious attempt to avoid mispronouncing “Lwaxana”.
  • Dave does the same thing.
  • Dave gently corrects Stevyn.
  • For two people who claim not to watch The View, Dave and Stevyn sure seems to have a great deal of hate for it.
  • Dave apologies to Stevyn for insulting Billy Crystal, but he never apologizes to Billy Crystal.
Actor Profiles
Actor Profiles
Ep. 36: The Billy Crystal of Acting
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Ep. 27: I Understand Why People Don’t Like Sandra Bullock

Ep. 27: I Understand Why People Don’t Like Sandra Bullock

Episode 27, ‘I understand why people don’t like Sandra Bullock’, on Julia Roberts

Dave and Steve move onto their next actor profile. While the episode is ostensibly focused on Julia Roberts, they spend almost as much time talking about Sandra Bullock. Since Steven can’t tell them apart, it’s a win-win situation.

  • Intro Clip: Mona Lisa Smile.
  • Steve says something racist. He doesn’t say it in a racist way, though.
  • Dave, who is an avid follower of the Independent Spirit Awards, recalls that Julia Roberts “maybe even got nominated for” Mystic Pizza.
  • Will Dave ever shut up about how great Anne Hathaway is?
  • Are the dreams of Julia Roberts alive in Portland?
  • Dave slips in a dig against Scent of a Woman
  • Dave builds a nice little sandcastle and Steven kicks it over like a bully.
  • Steve confuses the words “beautiful” and “sexy”.
  • “Pygmalion-ed”.
  • There’s a joke somewhere in here about Steven and hitting puberty late, but we don’t bother with the low-hanging fruit.
  • Dave didn’t mean for Steve to feel like this.
  • The conversation briefly devolves into something uncomfortable.
  • Does anyone else think “The Ocean’s Movies” is a weird way to describe those films?
  • There are some who might consider “casual woman” to be an insult.
  • Steve makes a poor comparison. Dave corrects him.
  • This is what Dave means when I says “real person”.
  • “Super educated” is a fun descriptor.
  • Nobody needs to see Mona Lisa Smile after this podcast, because Dave gives us the entire film.
  • At last, our long national nightmare is over as Dave’s Netflix rating system is made clear.
  • In this episode, Steven forgets the name of almost every single actor that he tries to reference. Maybe life is just something that Steven does while he stalls for a character’s name.
  • Dave mentions the movie that shall not be named. We here at The Style Guide apologize to anyone who was unprepared for that reference.
  • The upcoming Jungle Book is a terrible idea and a pox on all those who disagree.
  • “Michelle Pfeiffer” is easy to say and almost impossible to spell.
  • “Patriarchal” is the opposite.
  • Steve concludes the episode by going off the rails, but something wonderful comes about because of it.
Actor Profiles
Actor Profiles
Ep. 27: I Understand Why People Don't Like Sandra Bullock
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Ep. 18: Renting out Rick Moranis

Ep. 18: Renting out Rick Moranis

Episode 18, ‘Renting out Rick Moranis’, Actor Profile: Rick Moranis

In this episode Dave and Steven do another actor profile. This time following the short, and sweet career of the world’s most beloved nerd: Rick Moranis.

  • Intro Clip: “Nine More Gallons” by Rick Moranis
  • Dave slips in a reference to himself as “a great Canadian”.
  • Dave and Steve support making fun of Can-con regulations.
  • Today’s podcast is sponsored by the word “trajectory”.
  • Ghostbusters paved the way for Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.
  • Before nerds were cool, Moranis thrived on the adult nerd character.
  • Dave isn’t jazzed by country music.
  • Listeners, you have all just been categorized into “Dave’s People” and “Steve’s People”. As it turns out, almost everyone is “Steve’s People”.
  • Dave starts to sound like Rick Moranis is either his spirit animal or soulmate.
  • Rick Moranis was originally cast as Phil in City Slickers, but had to drop out because of [Sad part of the Podcast].
  • Dave and Steve make completely unsubstantiated claims about Rick Moranis as a father.
  • Steven does something shocking.
  • A brief comparison of Danny DeVito and Rick Moranis — and, implicitly, John Goodman and Arnold Schwarzenegger.
  • The Flintstones (1994) is The Dark Knight version of the 1960s The Flintstones.
  • Dave becomes the guy who makes the decision.
  • This may be our giddiest episode yet.
  • Dave and Steve believe everything that they read on Wikipedia.
  • Uh. Hey Dave? Authoritatively.
  • Not satisfied with an entire episode making fun of Nicolas Cage, Dave and Steven go out of their way to harp on him some more.
  • Are Dave and Steve Internet bullies?
  • Little Giants is to Steve as The Mighty Ducks 2 is to Dave.
  • Steve makes a pun, points out the fact that he made the pun, then Dave explains the pun.
  • If Mel Brooks, Arnold Schwarzenegger, or Wes Anderson are looking for movie plots, this episode is the one for them.
Actor Profiles
Actor Profiles
Ep. 18: Renting out Rick Moranis
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Ep. 9: Let’s keep comparing Nicolas Cage to Samuel L. Jackson

Ep. 9: Let’s keep comparing Nicolas Cage to Samuel L. Jackson

Episode 9, ‘Let’s keep comparing Nicolas Cage to Samuel L. Jackson’, Actor Profile: Nicolas Cage

In this episode Dave and Steven go on a scattershot journey through the insane career of actor and legend Nicolas Cage.

Show Notes:

Potentially Unexpected Spoilers:

  • Cabin in the Woods
  • John Travolta
  • Samuel L. Jackson
  • Danny Glover
  • George Clooney
  • Matthew McConaughey
Nick Cage
Nick Cage
Actor Profiles
Actor Profiles
Ep. 9: Let's keep comparing Nicolas Cage to Samuel L. Jackson
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